3 Steps To A Happy Relationship

I’ve spent a great deal of time working with couples who are having a hard time communicating within their relationship. One of the first questions I ask them is “Was it always hard to talk to each other”? The answer is almost always no. But over time, the inability to connect through verbal communication has faded. It is interesting to note, that I see this more in couples who are younger than 40. I believe this to be true because this demographic grew up with a mobile device attached to their hips and hands, and never really had to rely on basic interpersonal skills. And there are 3 areas that commonly cause problems for us as we try to communicate.

The first problem area is courtesy. Courtesy and basic politeness are in many cases are non-existent in my younger couples. While this can be true at any age, the art of courtesy is lacking with the 40 and younger crowd (please know that I am not making a generalization. I just see it more with these couples).

I have written about this extensively. When engaged in mindful conversation with our partner, we don’t answer text, emails or take calls. I know I am guilty of this from time to time. But both my wife and I are very good at communicating our needs when having these conversations. Just the other night as we were driving down to the water, I started to talk about our upcoming financial responsibilities. In a matter of seconds, she asked if we could please not talk about that now. That the point of going to the water was to enjoy the sunset and wildlife. In a matter of seconds, that conversation stopped, and we were able to enjoy our evening talking about more meaningful things.

By showing her respect and honoring her wishes, we were able to connect to each other and source. She stated her request. She wasn’t rude about it. I didn’t take offense to it. We had a lovely evening. Politeness paved the way.

The second area that brings couples do my door is their fighting. When two or more are gathered together, there will eventually be misunderstanding and conflict. However, if you “fight fair”, it can be a door that leads to greater intimacy. Let me try and simplify this. See the above section on courtesy and politeness. It is so important that when a difficult conversation starts, be fully present and invest in the process.

I have had couples when in the middle of a heated discussion take calls, turn of the TV set and any other thing they could do to avoid intimacy. Because that what this really boils down to. Being vulnerable and resistant to change. There are many tools out there that can help facilitate an argument. It would be helpful to research some, and have them readily available (and agreed upon) prior to a fight. It is much better to be proactive than reactive in these situations.

The last thing I want to mention is the “I’m sorry” area. So many of us have outgrown an apology. We either don’t say it. Or, we don’t mean it. You know the old saying that the best apology is changed behavior. But even before we get to that point, it starts from those words rolling off of our lips. I am sorry. And know that not every apology is an admission to guilt. You can be sorry that someone is hurting. You can be sorry that someone misunderstood what you said. The important this is say it. Give clarifications. Make adjustments. Be open. Be vulnerable and move on. It’s quite the simple process.

If you follow these 3 steps, you should be well on your way to a greater level of communication and intimacy in your relationship. When you’re polite, you will usually be met with kindness in return. If you have tools that are agreeable to the both of you prior to a heated discussion, you probably decreased the intensity by at least a third. And it’s okay to say I’m sorry and be vulnerable. If we remain closed off, the best we can expect is a relationship of little progress and superficial communication. And if you’re still reading this. I’m guessing you want more from your relationship.

How to Write a Great Resume Summary With Examples

A resume summary is a concise summary of who you are and the value that you can bring to an organization. Today (2018), all strong resumes are expected to have resume summaries in place of the antiquated “Objective.” The resume summary is essentially your elevator speech, which is a very brief “commercial” of who you are and how you can benefit an organization.

What To Include

First, be certain to include a resume summary right after your contact information. Excluding a summary or just listing a few bullets about your qualifications (or worse listing an Objective) will nearly guarantee your resume gets passed unless you personally know the hiring manager. The resume summary is essentially a condensed version of the “Tell Me About Yourself Question.” When writing a summary, you want to ensure that you include relevant and specific information that showcases who you are without being too generic. A great summary will include who you are, what you’ve done, what value you bring, and what your strengths are. Also, you should always include your resume title above the resume summary to make it clear who you are (i.e. Sales Professional, IT Executive, Project Manager, etc.)

Keep It Short

You may have been in an industry for 20+ years and have done enough to fill 100+ pages of text; however, your summary shouldn’t be longer than five or six sentences. TheLadders (2017) conducted a study and showed that the average recruiter spends 6-seconds reviewing a resume, so your resume summary should be concise and compelling. You need to quickly capture the hiring managers attention and highlight your top-selling points or unique value proposition. Avoid being redundant and including too many generic sentences that can apply to anyone.

Three Great Resume Summary Examples:

Example #1 – Global Vice Chairman

Results-driven global executive with a proven track record of successfully building and leading communications businesses in North America, Asia-Pacific, Europe, and Latin America. Expertise in corporate trust and reputation, operational leadership, business development, strategic planning, and streamlining operations to significantly increase revenue and profitability. Highly regarded commentator on issues of corporate trust, crisis, and corporate reputation for CNN, Bloomberg, CNBC, the BBC, and Channel News Asia in addition to delivering insights for print, trade, and other broadcast media on five continents. Presenter at the United Nations Global Compact Leaders Conference, the Clinton Global Initiative, The World Economic Forum’s Anti-Corruption Conference, FSG’s Shared Value Conference, and countless industry and client events.

Example #2 – Senior Sales Executive

Award-winning sales executive with vast experience in global sales/marketing and financial management. Expertise in sourcing and retaining new business as the deal lead and providing the framework for completing KYC due diligence for specialized clients. Demonstrated history of generating more than $100+ million in wins and bookings. Successful client-relations manager who understands client needs, manages expectations, builds lasting relationships, instills trust, and ensures the delivery of integrated solutions. Highly adept working in the FinTech industry.

Example #3 – Technical Director

Highly talented IT executive with a demonstrated track record of designing, building, and rolling out multi-million-dollar strategic, tactical IT, and operational solutions that significantly contributes to organizational performance. Oversaw the build-out of 450+ retail stores from a technology perspective including hardware, software, LAN/WAN, and telephony along with managing 350+ projects’ lifecycles from inception to rollout. Expertise in effectively leading teams, instilling passion, and developing people to achieve excellence. Strong ability to communicate with both technical and non-technical audiences.

All three of these examples clearly exemplify who the candidate is, what the candidate has done, what value the candidate brings, and what the candidates strengths are in a concise and compelling manner without unnecessary fluff. Fluff is a resume summary that’s filled with generic sentences like the example below:

Example #4 – Generic Fluff Summary

Energetic and creative professional with a cross-functional background in operations. History of working well with all levels of leadership and developing effective relationships. Strong ability to make immediate and valuable contributions to an organization. Flexible and open-minded with an outstanding ability to adapt to any situation. Excellent research, strategic thinking, communication, and presentation skills.

Conclusion

Think of your resume summary as the only thing a hiring manager will read, because in many cases it just may be. Your resume summary is your elevator pitch and should include who you are, what you’ve done, what value you bring, and what your strengths are in a concise and compelling manner. Remember to include your title above your summary to immediately identify who you are. You can use a generic “Professional Summary” or “Qualifications” if you have a very diverse background and it’s difficult to define who you are in a single title. Always remember to include a resume summary as candidates without one will surely be passed.

Why Art Collectors Are in Love With Floral Paintings These Days

Reproductions of floral paintings are selling like hot cakes in online stores dedicated to modern art for sale, sculpture home décor and more

With floral art and floral paintings becoming coveted products for art collectors globally, smart replications and reproductions of some of the most valued floral art forms are making their presence felt in art stores online. Art lovers have a fancy for floral art for two significant reasons, their beauty and meaning. Different flowers tend to have different kinds of symbolic messages attached to them; therefore some flowers tend to be more popular and wanted than others. Across history, artists had been inspired by the prettiest flowers and found them to be the perfect objects for their paintings.

Did you know that some of the earliest known paintings depicted flowers and plants? Here, we have assembled some floral paintings, sculpture home décor that are being purchased by art enthusiasts globally.

‘Roses and Sunflowers’ (1886):

A masterpiece by Vincent van Gogh, this 1886 creation is currently hosted at ‘Kunsthalle Mannheim’, a much famed museum showcasing modern and contemporary paintings. Like most paintings and art forms by Vincent van Gogh, this one was also created with oil upon canvas. An art store online selling floral painting reproductions would surely have this on its cards.

‘Bouquet’ (1599)

If you have already invested in the best modern art for sale online and would like to opt for something flowery for a change, then this Jan Brueghel the Elder painting is what you should go for without any further ado. Painted in 1599, the epic creation is one of the oldest floral paintings known to mankind. It portrays many beautiful flowers and serves to be a wonderful example of conventional floral art

‘Vase of Flowers’ (1480)

This coveted painting, like many others belonging to the same era, depicts religious symbolism to the hilt. These symbolic messages go back in times and may not have their desired relevance in the contemporary world; nevertheless, the painting in which they are presented is notching favors everywhere.

Still-Life of Flowers’ (1614)

This painting is unique in itself and showcases the talent of Ambrosius Bosschaert who created it in 1614. Depicting the still life lead by flowers in the best possible way, the detailing, realism and shading of the painting is beyond compare.

These and many other floral paintings are making it to the art collections of amateur and professional art enthusiasts in a big way. You may like to check out a few of such paintings for your personal or office space as well.

How to Find Your Soul Mate – Get Your House in Order (7 Tips for Women)

Are you ready to receive God’s best? He doesn’t send the supreme to a disorderly house. With that said, shift your focus. Instead of concentrating on finding a soul mate, concentrate on getting yourself prepared. By the way, as previously stated in another article, a woman doesn’t find the man; he finds her. This article discusses seven things to consider as you work to get yourself in order.

7 Tips

1. Know thyself.

Conduct a self-examination. Possessing a keen awareness of yourself is the first rule in any endeavor. With that said, what do you value? What do you respect in others? Where do you draw the line? What’s your communication style? What strengths do you bring to a relationship.

2. Love yourself.

Next to knowing yourself is loving yourself. Otherwise, how can you expect someone else to love you? Love yourself with a man. Love yourself without a man. Most important, know that Jesus loves you.

3. Keep first things first.

What takes precedence now? Some things are more important than others. A friend, for example, made raising her son the primary focus. As a single mother, she did not parade every Tom, Dick, or Harry in front of him or disrupt their home by moving someone in. Now after he went away to college, she let her hair down. Today, he is a well-adjusted, respectful and responsible man. If you’re a single parent, what matters most?

Likewise, how’s your financial health? Focus on eliminating debt and improving your credit. Your mate doesn’t want to inherit a financial wreck.

Even if your family or finances are in tack, other things supersede finding a mate. Pause for a moment or two to assess your present state. Where are you in disarray?

4. Discover your purpose

In short, uncovering your purpose is a pressing matter. Whether you have a mate or not does not exempt you from fulfilling your call (vocation).

5. Pursue your dream(s).

After you uncover the mission, get moving. Your skills and talents are the missing pieces to someone’s puzzle. Moreover, the right place is where your blessings flow.

6. Unload the baggage.

Imagine travelling from place to place with your luggage. You add more items than you remove and before long it’s difficult to carry. Aside from slowing you down, it’s heavy and awkward.

Similarly, when you jump from relationship to relationship emotional baggage accumulates. Instead of taking time to regroup or allow the dust settle, you drag the junk in your trunk (anger, confusion, bitterness, etc.). Eventually, you unload it on the next person. Stop the madness!

7. No stinking thinking.

As women, we’ve been gifted with strong intuition. Yet, we proceed full steam ahead and ignore early warning signs; I’m guilty too. At length, stinking thinking creeps in. Our track records, consequently, hold us hostage with negative views of men, relationships, and marriage. I call it stinking thinking, and it sours everything.

Therefore, change your mindset. Trust God to not only position you for your soul mate but to exceed your expectations. He doesn’t make mistakes.